Cultural differences can be extreme – and yet as human beings we share so much in common and want the same things – we want happiness, safety, ease of living, connections and more.
But the west has a huge obsession about the power of talking.
There is a dispute – “Let’s talk it over”.
An argument at home – “Let’s talk it over”.
We in the west truly believe this works – despite substantial evidence that “talking it over” entrenches division, builds argument and can lead to much unhappiness.
What is a cultural alternative?
I recently heard India’s Gurudev Shri Shri Ravi Shankar responding to a question from a couple who could not live well together but could not separate.
They asked “Should we talk it over?”
His response was do not focus on each other and the differences.
Instead focus on a goal. Focus on the few things you enjoy about each other.
But above all, he said don’t talk it over because – my summary – that only makes the fighting worse.
He and his wisdom will be in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth in October.
